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The Bleacher Bums: October 24, 2007 Archive

Yankees Lite vs. Coors Lite

Posted at 10:05 AM on October 24, 2007 by David Zingler

I’ll admit I’ve followed this year’s postseason far less than usual. It was a rough summer in Minnesota for multiple reasons and I am just ready to put the whole thing behind me.

The World Series match-up however, is interesting. It is – of course – a classic, totally cliché David vs. Goliath match-up which all of America is really a sucker for. Here’s what’s on my mind as the Series opens tonight:

Now that the Red Sox have broken The Curse, won the AL East and another pennant, it’s time to call them out for what they are: Yankees Lite. They have a veteran, mercenary laden roster, an over-hyped import pitcher and an obscene payroll. The have more personality than the Yanks and most fans couldn’t pick their owner out of a line-up, so they are a little more likable been the Evil Empire. That’s about it.

The upstart, unknown Rockies meanwhile, have been white-hot. They swept the Phillies and Diamondbacks to reach their first ever World Series and have been sitting around for the last eight days – sounds a lot like the Tigers in ’06. Let’s hope – for competition’s sake – that the layoff doesn’t hit the Rockies too hard.

Head: Red Sox in 6
Heart: Rockies in 7

There's only one problem

Posted at 5:06 PM on October 24, 2007 by Bob Collins (1 Comments)

Colleague Charlie Knutson sends this missive to the Bums:

The October Classic is upon us. To be honest, I can't wait for it to be over.

It's not because my team didn't make the playoffs or my boss' team lost in game 7 of the ALCS (which may make him more dangerous than usual) or any other remotely baseball-related reason. Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty excited for this series. Reminds me of the Diamondbacks-Yankees series for some reason and that was a barn-burnin' hootenanny.

Maybe it has already been said. Maybe I'm way behind the curve on this one, but it takes a while for my pot to boil-over. Nevertheless fellow bums, it is worth saying again...and again. Perhaps this is the evil that will unite us all, whether we are Twins, Cubs, Rockies, or Rangers.

I digress. It is for purely selfish reasons that I welcome the off-season. I have four words for you: "There's only one October."

Shoot me in the head with a potatoe gun Mr. Quayle. Dick can follow with some birdshot to the face, if he wants.

Bums, I'll reveal a little something about myself...Dane Cook makes me want to break things. Every time I see his face mixed up with baseball highlights, I start looking for something to smash. He is a TALENTLESS HACK that deserves to be blogging like the rest of us talentless hacks. He does not need to be telling me why October and baseball go together like Old Style and goat curses. I have talentless friends and uncles that can do that and make a lot more sense. Plus, they don't look like the 35-year-old guy that tried to get my 17-year-old cousin pregnant.

Anyone waxing philosophic about baseball to mass audiences (especially baseball audiences) ought to be heard and not seen. Ideally, they should sit exclusively on beer coolers, have a seasoned gut and moustache, wear Reggie Jackson glasses, and have at least one baseball card in a frame at their work desk.

Bah...I think I've exceeded the blog word limit. Here's the take away: Anything Dane Cook does sucks. MLB commercials contain Dane Cook. Therefore, MLB commercials suck. I can't wait to never see one again.

Signing off from atop my beer cooler, hopefully being heard and only seen at the ballpark.

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