Posted at 1:31 PM on October 2, 2007
by Tom Scheck
Well, here we are. The team of my youth has made it into the playoffs for the first time since 1993. They did the improbable by winning the NL East with the help from the chokin' New York Mets.
I dropped the Phils a while back for a couple of reasons (mostly because I moved to Minnesota) but I found myself logging on to read the box scores at 11 pm or cursing ESPN News for spending too much time on the NFL when all I wanted was Phillies score.
I'm now infected with Phillies fever. Maybe it's because I was in Pennsylvania over the weekend and got caught up in all of the excitement. I think it has more to do with my 88 year old grandmother. She's been a Phillies fan all her life. She rarely misses a game and there has to be a pretty good reason if she does. The wedding of her granddaughter was one of those times. That didn't prevent her from demanding updates over the weekend. Every few minutes one member of the family would quietly saunter off during the first dance, the cutting of the cake or the toast by the best man (I totally missed that) to get grandma the score.
We would walk up to her and whisper in her ear "Phils are down two in the eighth. The good news is Ryan Howard just jacked one." Grandma would quietly smile when she found out the Phillies won. She would frown on Saturday when she found out that they were losing (and lost).
In fact, I'm not the only one to attend a wedding where most of the concern was over the ballgame and not the first dance. Famous Philadelphia Inquirer Columnist Bill Lyon (the best that ever was) witnessed the same thing. I just found this column but won't read it until I'm finished writing. To continue reading would force me to scrap this whole entry knowing I couldn't capture it as well as Lyon did.
It seems like my entire family grew up reading Lyon, loving their sports and hoping for victories. I know I'm not the only one.
Families talk about the games, the plays, the collapses and the world championships (there haven't been any in the City of Brotherly Love since 1983). It would have been a quiet few years in my house if my father and I didn't have the 'iggles, the phils and the 76ers to talk about. In fact, Philadelphia's trophy case has been quiet over the years.
The city is starved for a victory. We watched the beloved 'Iggles lose in the Super Bowl a few years ago. The Sixers (otherwise known as Allen Iverson's one man band) couldn't get a win over those pesky Lakers a few years back. The Phils lost in 1993 on a Joe Carter homer. The last Philadelphia pro sports team to win was in 1983.
That doesn't mean there weren't highlights. Philadelphia has Villanova's 1985 NCAA basketball championship and Smarty Jones won the Kentucky Derby and Preakness Stakes in 2004. But the city groaned as the horse lost the lead to Birdsong in the Belmont and ruined any hopes for a Triple Crown "Smarty Party" as Lyon put it. Another horse, named Barbaro, also brought joy to the city after it won the Kentucky Derby in 2006. The horse came up lame in the Preakness and was put down after fighting to stay alive for a year.
Those two horses may be the perfect metaphor for the City of Philadelphia. Early on, Smarty Jones was near death after getting spooked and cracking its skull in the starting gate. The injury was so bad that the vet thought the horse would lose its eyes. But it persevered, got up and kept on running.
Barbaro broke a few bones but defied the conventional wisdom that the horse had to be put down and fought for life. For a year and a half, Barbaro's medical updates captured the city's hearts. Many hoped that the horse would defy the odds and live on. "Never say die" is the city's motto even when the priest shows up to read you the last rights.
That may be the embodiment of this Phillies team.
Philly fans also had to watch as the Phils approached and passed the 10,000 loss mark this summer. The Phils are the first team to do it. Were these fans bitter? Heck no. Many celebrated the event hoping that the team would get up after the knockdown, dust itself off and start swinging.
And swing they did.
Jimmy Rollins caught fire and proved that he should be the MVP (last night's botched outfield play by Matt Holliday is reason enough he shouldn't get it), Ryan Howard went deep 47 times and Cole Hamels has shown the guts of a gritty veteran.
The Phils caught the Mets. They also caught the heart of this 33 year old hoping to recapture the pride and joy he felt when the Phils won the 1980 World Series. He hopes he can whisper into his grandmother's ear just once more "The Phils did it Grandma. They did it."
Posted at 3:19 PM on October 2, 2007
by Bob Collins
I've been asked to lend my baseball experience to Bleacher Bums during the playoffs. I haven't been interested in the playoffs for a number of years, but now that the Cleveland Indians are back in the playoffs, so am I.
This is the time of the year when we hear the cliche, "good pitching beats good hitting." If so, the Yankees-Indians series is over. If only I could recite the mantra often enough to finally believe it.
The Yankees bullpen is a mess, thanks to a series a few weeks ago against the Toronto Blue Jays, from which the bullpen never recovered. The Indians finished 3rd in the A.L. in pitching. The Yankees finished 17th overall and 8th in the A.L. We've got Sabathia and Carmona, the Yankees have Wang and whoever shows up. I try to block out that I'm playing the part of Minnesota Twins fans in seasons past. Their team had better pitching too. Their team went home in a hurry.
By the way, the Sporting News just declared the Yankees will win the World Series because of their bullpen. The Sporting News management has obviously not bought out enough of its writers.
Of the top 10 teams in pitching this year, only Boston, Chicago, Cleveland, and Arizona made the playoffs The best pitching in baseball this year belonged to the San Diego Padres. Unable to hold an extra inning lead, the Padres are making tee times today. The Mets (12) had better pitching than the Phillies (23).
I have a nagging feeling, fertilized by 45 years of being a Cleveland Indian fan, that good pitching beats good hitting.
Except when it doesn't.
(Photo credit: Dave Sandford/Getty Images)
Posted at 8:30 PM on October 2, 2007
by Chris Dall
Well, now that I've had a day to digest "The Collapse" and all its repercussions, I feel like I'm ready to address it. There was a moment late Sunday where I thought that maybe people wouldn't make such a big deal out it, but clearly I was wrong. The Mets have become the punchline to a thousand different jokes.
Even after the dust settles and the laughter fades, what happened to the 2007 Mets will be debated for years to come, and everyone will have their theory. I'll stick by my earlier post and lay most of the blame on the bullpen, with a special acknowledgement to the starters, especially a certain Hall-of-Fame pitcher who failed to show up in two of his team's biggest games. Here's all you need to know about how bad Met pitching was over the last two weeks of the season. In 6 games against the Washington Nationals, the team that scored the fewest runs in the National League, Met pitchers gave up 57 runs.
Of course, a collapse like this one has to involve other factors, and here are some other numbers that tell part of the story: .214/.290/.348. Those are the numbers that Jose Reyes, "The Most Exciting Player in Baseball," put up in September, a month where he seemed to forget that putting the ball on the ground is the best way for him to get on base . His three popups in Sunday's loss to the Marlins pretty much summed it all up.
Then there's the issue of the manager, Willie Randolph. While Willie doesn't deserve all the blame, he does have to bear some responsibility. He used relievers like Guillermo Mota and Jorge Sosa way too much, even after it became clear they couldn't get anyone out. And fair or not, his inability to impart on his players a sense of urgency over the last two weeks has to count against him. They shouldn't have needed anyone to do that for them, but clearly that's what fans expect from managers, and Randolph didn't deliver.
And let's not forget GM Omar Minaya, who saddled his manager with a pitching staff of 6-inning starters and no middle relief and failed to bring in reinforcements at mid-season. He deserves a slice of blame pie, too.
I prefer to chalk up some of the debacle to more cosmic forces. Maybe it was some kind of Karmic payback for 1986. I mean, really, Mets fans had to know that would come back to haunt them eventually, didn't they? Or maybe it was the ghost of William Shea, angry that the team will moving into a fancy new corporate-named, luxury box-laden "ballpark" in 2009. Or perhaps it was the curse of Anna Benson, who was banished to Baltimore with husband Kris after appearing in this get-up at Mets Christmas party.
Whatever the cause, it's going to take me and other Met fans a long time to get over this one.
Posted at 10:27 AM on October 3, 2007
by Bob Collins
Hardball Times has two interesting articles looking at the playoff match-up that begins on this day.
Why the Red Sox will beat the Angels, suggests that Becket and whoever else pitches can neutralize Lackey and Escobar and, oh yeah, the Angels don't have a lot of offense.
Why the Angels will beat the Red Sox, on the other hand, says the Angels prevail because of their superior offense and pitching.
Me? I think the Red Sox lose because they are quite an ordinary team, actually. And because Donnie Moore is dead and Dave Henderson does autograph shows now.
However, I suppose the networks are pulling for the Red Sox-Yankees for obvious reasons, and because they've already prepared their Native American faces Native American pieces.
Posted at 9:50 AM on October 4, 2007
by Chris Dall
Well the beginning of the MLB playoffs certainly didn't disappoint, with good pitching, solid defense, timely hitting and one questionable managerial decision. Here are the pitching lines we saw yesterday.
Josh Becket: 9 IP, 0 earned runs, 4 hits, 8 strikeouts
Brandon Webb: 7 IP, 1 earned run, 4 hits, 9 strikeouts
Jeff Francis: 6 IP, 2 earned runs, 4 hits, 8 Strikeouts
Cole Hamels: 6.2 IP, 3 earned runs, 3 hits, 7 strikeouts
Carlos Zambrano: 6 IP, 1 earned run, 4 hits, 8 strikeouts
John Lackey: 6 IP, 4 earned runs, 9 hits, 2 strikeouts
Pretty much all of these guys, with the exception maybe of Lackey, pitched well enough to win, and the Cubs might have won had Pinella kept Zambrano in the game.
Of course, now that we've moved past the aces, we might see some different scores in the following games. But yesterday was a good indication of why these teams are in the playoffs.
Posted at 2:54 PM on October 4, 2007
by David Zingler
It’s a tradition among sports fans to pick an alternate team or two to “go for” in the playoffs when their favorite team is not in the mix. Since our Twins are now scattered across North and Central America spending their substantial paychecks, we are now left to pick among the fortunate few teams that still have a chance at October glory.
Who should I “go for” during this postseason….the candidates (in no particular order):
Boston Red Sox: Sure, they finally won the AL East, but since they won it all in ’04 and broke “the curse” in the process, they are far less interesting…Yankees Lite??
New York Yankees: Please, not gonna happen…ever.
Cleveland Indians: Despite the fact they are Bob Collins favorite team and they beat the pulp out of our beloved Twins this season, I want the Tribe to do well. After all, the last time the won a World Series Satchel Paige was on their roster.
Anaheim Angels: Never been a fan of the Halos, they also won it just five years ago.
Chicago Cubs: I am so over them.
Philadelphia Phillies: Haven’t been to Philly, but would like to visit and you have to love them for ousting the Mets (sorry Chris).
Arizona Diamondbacks: They flew under the radar most of the season in the NL, but ended up with the best record in the league. They still don’t do anything for me.
Colorado Rockies: I am jumping on the bandwagon here; Monday’s one game playoff was a classic. Why not just go with the flow?
In summary, I would love to see a Cleveland vs. Colorado World Series. It would enrage TV network execs and put some of baseball’s best, most unknown, talent on display. (The Phillies are my back-up team).
Posted at 12:07 PM on October 5, 2007
by Bob Collins
I am inclined by nature to feel a little better about the Indians' chances in this series after game 1. Then I ran the numbers.
In the last 7 years, the Yankees have not won a division series in which they won the first game of the series. In that time, they have never lost a series in which they lost the first game of that series.
Posted at 10:17 PM on October 5, 2007
by Bob Collins
The Indians have had their share of MVP candidates this year. Victor Martinez, for one and this evening's newest Cy Young candidate (next year?) Fausto Carmona, for another. Grazy Sizemore. C.C. Sabathia.
But who figured the game would hinge on a plague of Canadian Soldiers (aka "mayflies"), which struck around the time Joba Chamberlain was trying to become a legend? Had the flies not attacked -- and apparently eaten all of the flesh on -- Chamberlain, we -- that is, the Tribe -- could be going back to New York and, I'd guess, certain death.
Fine. I'll take it. Fate, you give us an attack of flies, and I'll give you the over-the-shoulder Willie Mays catch.
So now the series comes down to Roger Clemens, who is finished, and Jake Westbrook, who is valuable only if someone bets you a million dollars that you can't name the players the Yankees gave up to acquire Dave Justice.
Westbrook, signed to a fairly fat contract. Then Travis Hafner signed a fairly fat contract, and that left C.C. Sabathia, the soon-to-be-former-ace of the staff out in the cold, marooned in Johan Santanaland.
He's a free agent next year and the loser in the Santana free agent sweepstakes next year, gets Sabathia.
Meanwhile, Alex Rodriguez is becoming Barry Bonds in oh so many ways. A-Rod hung up an 0-4 (with 3 Ks) Friday night, to go with his 0-2 (2 BB) Thursday night, to go with his 1 for 14 in the ALDS vs. Detroit last year, to go with his 2 for 15 in the ALDS in 2005.
So what does this mean? It means if the Indians should win game 3, and Alex Rodriguez does not put up some numbers, he opts out of his contract in New York because the New York fans will turn on him, and erase the whole notion that the Yankee fans have now accepted him as a "true Yankee."
In which case, Jake Westbrook becomes the answer to another trivia question.
Posted at 7:41 AM on October 9, 2007
by Bob Collins
Way back in the early '70s, before the beautiful people of Boston discovered they could feel better about themselves by being seen at Fenway Park, a college friend of mine -- Wayne Larrivee -- would sit high up in the grandstand, away from most people. Wayne, a wonderful broadcaster if ever there was one, would take a small tape recorder, and do the play-by-play of the game. He was that focused. He was a sophomore in college at the time.
Wayne, still a friend, is now the play-by-play voice of the Green Bay Packers after a career in Chicago that included being the play-by-play voice of both the Bears and Bulls. He also does a ton of Big 10 football and college basketball games.
He's that good, partly -- I always thought -- because he prepares so hard.
So what's Chip Caray's problem? The announcer for postseason baseball, who has been allowed by TBS to tarnish an otherwise sacred time of year is, I think it's safe to say, horrible. Apparently using his connections because of his famous dad and more famous grandfather, the kid approaches a game as if we're idiots.
Don't take my word for it, read the scathing review in the New York Times this morning from Richard Sandomir.
Had the frequently (and ridiculously) loud Caray stayed on mute throughout the series, the analysis of his partners, Tony Gwynn and, to a greater degree, Bob Brenly, would have been worth three or four hours of my time. But a stronger play-by-play voice, like TBS’s other division series announcers, Don Orsillo, Ted Robinson or Dick Stockton, would have made Brenly and Gwynn better. TBS knows how to fix what’s wrong. Yesterday it added SNY’s Ron Darling to its studio program, providing experience that neophytes like Frank Thomas and Cal Ripken lack.
Here are some questions to ponder through the rest of Caray’s work this postseason. Why isn’t he better prepared? If his producer, Jeff Gowen, is listening to what he is saying, why isn’t Caray improving? And why should I have to keep rushing to MLB.com to fact-check his facts?
Newsday was slightly more forgiving, but not by much.
Adam Gold on the 850 Buzz Blog shot a fish in a barrel:
Here’s another Chip Caray idiotic statement. He was talking about how the Yankees hit 6 home runs in the series, but offered that 5 of them were solo shots as a telling statistic as to why the Yanks struggled to score runs. Meanwhile, at the exact same time in the game, the Cleveland Indians also had hit 6 home runs in the series and would you care to guess how many of them came with the bases empty? You guessed it, 5.I gave up on the game last night on TV and retired to my garage to separate nuts and bolts into small plastic trays while listening, instead, to Tom Hamilton, the Cleveland Indians' fine -- and prepared -- announcer.
But by the 9th inning, I was in front of the TV when Alex Rodriguez took a pitch from the insufferable Joe Borowski and hit, according to Caray, a "pop-up to short right field," which Franklin Guttierez caught...
... one step in front of the warning track.
Posted at 11:50 AM on October 10, 2007
by Bob Collins
In anticipation of the big Cleveland-Boston showdown on Friday night, the Boston Globe has prepared -- for its parochial fans -- a slideshow of 8 Things You Should Know About Cleveland.
It seems pretty ridiculous, however, that #8 should point out that Manny Ramirez came up through the Cleveland system.
Surely, while acknowledging that the Red Sox fans' vaunted "knowledge of baseball" is overhyped, that can't be a secret to Red Sox fans, can it?
Posted at 12:04 PM on October 10, 2007
by Tom Scheck
The sports media landscape is littered with announcers who openly cheer for the home team. This blog discusses some of the worst "homer announcers."
So here's my question: Should we expect these announcers to be objective or is this now a bygone era?
Posted at 9:43 AM on October 11, 2007
by Steve Rudolph
Baseball’s league championship series begin tonight when the Arizona Diamonbacks host the Colorado Rockies. Before the first pitch is thrown I feel it’s necessary to look back at what we learned in the divisional series.
Watching the Yankees lose is still fun. Money can’t buy you love and apparently it can’t buy playoff victories. For the record, I’m completely comfortable with the Schadenfreude I felt watching baseball’s most-storied franchise in disarray.
Speaking of huge payrolls, these playoffs have shown us that you don’t need to spend a lot to make the playoffs or win a series. The Diamondbacks, Rockies and Indians have the 5th, 6th and 8th lowest payrolls in baseball. (The Twins ranked 13th.)
It’s okay to play baseball in Arizona in the spring, but not the fall. While it’s nice to see a low payroll team like the Diamondbacks succeed, I can’t jump on their bandwagon when the people who live in Phoenix aren’t interested in the team. Earlier this week there were still plenty of seats to be had for tonight’s game.
Superstars need to be just that in the playoffs. David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez each hit two home runs and the Red Sox swept their way into the ALCS. Alex Rodriguez and Vladimir Guerrero did little at the plate, particularly in key situations, and have the offseason to think about it.
Posted at 10:55 AM on October 11, 2007
by David Zingler
You’re Joe Torre. You’ve been managing the New York Yankees for 12 seasons. You’ve reached the postseason every year, won 11 division titles, 6 AL pennants and 4 World Series. And it’s not enough.
You’re Alex Rodriguez. You’ve just completed your 4th season as a Yankee. You’ve hit .302 and averaged 43 homers and 128 RBI per year in the Big Apple. Next month, you’ll win your 2nd AL MVP in pinstripes (3rd overall). And it’s not enough. Not even close.
After a season of listening to spoiled Twins fans spew doom and gloom, I really have no time to listen to Yankee fans complain about Torre or A-Rod. I know that Torre hasn’t led the Yankees to a World Series title since – gasp – 2000 and A-Rod has failed to come up big in the playoffs, but neither of these guys deserve the amount of abuse they get in New York.
It sounds like Rodriguez is doing the smart thing by opting out of his contract to become a free agent. I am sure he’ll end up somewhere he’ll be more appreciated. If I were Torre, I’d follow suit by calling Brian Cashman and resigning. Then I would take off a season, work in the media and offer my services to the highest bidder in 2009.
This may come to a shock to the self-absorbed Yankee Nation, but the Yankees need A-Rod, and especially Torre, more than they need the Yankees.
Posted at 3:08 PM on October 11, 2007
by Bob Collins
Suzy Waldman is defending her blubbering (Listen) during a local interview when the reporter was asked about the possibility of Joe Torre being booted as Yankee manager.
In Newsday, Waldman says, "This one's getting me angry, because I don't play this card a lot, but this is as sexist as it gets. What's the big damn deal? That I cried for four seconds of a 10-minute postgame?"
I guess I agree. Sort of.
It was interesting to hear two local radio announcers ("P.A. and Dubay") on KFAN this week suggest that she shouldn't have the job if she can't be more objective (Listen). Of course, this is one guy -- Paul Allen -- who while holding his job as Vikings play-by-play announcer shouted , "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" when an Arizona touchdown a few years ago knocked the Vikings out the playoff hunt. (Frankly, that doesn't bother me much; as long as it's not accompanied by a lecture on objectivity).
And his sidekick is the guy who, while performing his job with Fox Sports North and its coverage of college hockey, got into a shouting match with the referees over some of the calls that were going against his beloved Gophers.
So Waldman is right, to a degree. There's a certain amount of piling on going on here.
It's not really about a lack of objectivity. But to me it's about losing perspective on sports to the point where you're given to breaking down crying.... or shouting at refs.... or screaming bloody murder because of a touchdown.
And, Suzi, if Joe Torre loses his job, trust me, you'll not have to look for him sleeping in a cardboard box near the LIE.
Posted at 3:58 PM on October 12, 2007
by Chris Dall
After waiting what seemed like an eternity, I sat down to watch the Arizona Diamondbacks square off against the Colorado Rockies in game 1 of the NLCS. Here's what I learned, other than the fact that Colorado won the game 5-1:
I just can't get excited by this series. Yes, the Rockies are a great story because of the way they finished the season, and the D-Backs are a really young team that no one expected to be here, but there's just not a lot of meat here. No storied traditions, no fierce rivalry, no championship-starved fan base. Just two young, relatively faceless franchises.
Maybe the Rockies are just really good. I thought the extra time that teams have this year might work against Colorado, given how hot they've been. When you're on a roll like they're on, a 5-day layoff might give you too much time to wonder how long you can keep it going. But they simply took it to Arizona last night, getting more solid pitching from Jeff Francis and a bevy of relievers and just enough offense against the D-Backs best pitcher, Brandon Webb.
How did the D-Backs win 90 games? Granted, I haven't watched them enough to make this type of statement, but who scares you in their lineup? I know pitching is what helps you advance in October, but I just don't see them being able to score enough runs to beat the Rockies.
Arizona fans are lame. You can hear a pin drop in their ballpark for 6 innings, and then there's nearly a riot after a correct interference call on Arizona's Justin Upton. I can understand a little booing, but throwing water bottles on the field? What, didn't anyone in the stands have any AA batteries available?
Maybe you don't need your superstars in the playoffs. Colorado's big guns are Matt Holiday, Troy Tulowitzki, and Todd Helton, but they hit .231, .167, and .083 respectively in the NLDS victory over the Phillies. Who was the real star of that series? Kaz Matsui, who hit .417 with 2 triples, 1 home run, and 6 RBI and drove in another run last night. Yes, superstars need to carry their weight in October, but you also need big contributions from unexpected sources.
Posted at 12:47 PM on October 15, 2007
by Bob Collins
When the Patriots play the Cowboys, as they did yesterday, you pretty much know that between Tom Brady, Randy Moss, Wes Welker, and Tony Romo, the key to the game is going to be somebody you expected to be the key of the game.
When the Timberwolves (or Lakers or Celtics or Bulls) play, you pretty much know that the game will turn on the usual suspects. Same with hockey. Marian Gaborik or Nikolas Bakstrom are going to determine the fate of the team.
But baseball? Baseball is the one sport that is different. I recall many years ago, Gene Tenace almost single-handedly won a World Series. And on Saturday night (contrary to what Fox believed in naming Trot Nixon the player of the game), a really average-to-below-average pitcher named Tom Mastny mowed down, in order, David Ortiz, Manny Ramirez, and Mike Lowell. This, after Indians fans far and wide had already seen him warming in the bullpen, calculated the situation, and noodled on the strategy that would be needed tonight in Jacobs' Field for Game 3, down 2 games to none.
And that is why baseball is the greatest sport.
BTW, if you're looking for a great blog to follow during a game, check out Let's Go Tribe. See you there.
Red Sox fans, you should log on to The Sons of Sam Horn. Just don't tell 'em that Sam once played for the Indians, too.
Posted at 10:05 AM on October 24, 2007
by David Zingler
I’ll admit I’ve followed this year’s postseason far less than usual. It was a rough summer in Minnesota for multiple reasons and I am just ready to put the whole thing behind me.
The World Series match-up however, is interesting. It is – of course – a classic, totally cliché David vs. Goliath match-up which all of America is really a sucker for. Here’s what’s on my mind as the Series opens tonight:
Now that the Red Sox have broken The Curse, won the AL East and another pennant, it’s time to call them out for what they are: Yankees Lite. They have a veteran, mercenary laden roster, an over-hyped import pitcher and an obscene payroll. The have more personality than the Yanks and most fans couldn’t pick their owner out of a line-up, so they are a little more likable been the Evil Empire. That’s about it.
The upstart, unknown Rockies meanwhile, have been white-hot. They swept the Phillies and Diamondbacks to reach their first ever World Series and have been sitting around for the last eight days – sounds a lot like the Tigers in ’06. Let’s hope – for competition’s sake – that the layoff doesn’t hit the Rockies too hard.
Head: Red Sox in 6
Heart: Rockies in 7
Posted at 5:06 PM on October 24, 2007
by Bob Collins
Colleague Charlie Knutson sends this missive to the Bums:
The October Classic is upon us. To be honest, I can't wait for it to be over.
It's not because my team didn't make the playoffs or my boss' team lost in game 7 of the ALCS (which may make him more dangerous than usual) or any other remotely baseball-related reason. Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty excited for this series. Reminds me of the Diamondbacks-Yankees series for some reason and that was a barn-burnin' hootenanny.
Maybe it has already been said. Maybe I'm way behind the curve on this one, but it takes a while for my pot to boil-over. Nevertheless fellow bums, it is worth saying again...and again. Perhaps this is the evil that will unite us all, whether we are Twins, Cubs, Rockies, or Rangers.
I digress. It is for purely selfish reasons that I welcome the off-season. I have four words for you: "There's only one October."
Shoot me in the head with a potatoe gun Mr. Quayle. Dick can follow with some birdshot to the face, if he wants.
Bums, I'll reveal a little something about myself...Dane Cook makes me want to break things. Every time I see his face mixed up with baseball highlights, I start looking for something to smash. He is a TALENTLESS HACK that deserves to be blogging like the rest of us talentless hacks. He does not need to be telling me why October and baseball go together like Old Style and goat curses. I have talentless friends and uncles that can do that and make a lot more sense. Plus, they don't look like the 35-year-old guy that tried to get my 17-year-old cousin pregnant.
Anyone waxing philosophic about baseball to mass audiences (especially baseball audiences) ought to be heard and not seen. Ideally, they should sit exclusively on beer coolers, have a seasoned gut and moustache, wear Reggie Jackson glasses, and have at least one baseball card in a frame at their work desk.
Bah...I think I've exceeded the blog word limit. Here's the take away: Anything Dane Cook does sucks. MLB commercials contain Dane Cook. Therefore, MLB commercials suck. I can't wait to never see one again.
Signing off from atop my beer cooler, hopefully being heard and only seen at the ballpark.
Posted at 7:01 PM on October 30, 2007
by David Zingler
I can’t handle another “Is Torii Leaving?” story. He’s gone. Move On dot Now!
Note to Boston: You’re welcome! You’re welcome for David Ortiz. You’re welcome for Randy Moss. You’re welcome for Kevin Garnett. Oh yeah, and a “Thank You” would be nice!
I’d also like to thank the good folks at Comcast who have spared us from 2007 Golden Gopher football by not picking up the Big Ten Network. I might not be so gracious when Tubby Smith’s squad hits the hardwood.
As if it wasn’t bad enough on this side of the Mississippi, we’ve had to watch Brett Favre and the Pack race to a 6-1 start. Worse yet, we’ve had to listen to Cheeseheads gloat about it.
All of this is so depressing that I am going to watch highlight videos of the ’98 Vikings and ’06 Twins to cheer up. And please don’t tell me how they end.