Posted at 10:40 AM on August 9, 2007
by David Zingler
Note: The below is a product of the author’s twisted imagination.
SAN FRANCISCO – After just one day, we’ve crowned a new Home Run King. That’s the way Barry Bonds acted after hitting homerun No. 757 on Wednesday.
“I was upset the game wasn’t stopped,” the slugger told a small gathering of media-types after the game. “It would have been a perfect opportunity to pay tribute to me and all of my glorious accomplishments.”
When a reporter pressed him on the subject, Bonds responded defensively: “You don’t know what it’s like to make history every time you swing the bat, do you – next question!”
Bonds later explained that he was going to watch “vintage” highlights of his first 756 long balls to get “a better sense of the greatness of the record.”
“Listen, people,” Bonds blurted before making his final statement. “After this lame showing of appreciation today, I expect a really big party after 758!”