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The Bleacher Bums: May 23, 2006 Archive

Off Day News: Taxpayers to fund new Pohlad mansion

Posted at 12:33 PM on May 23, 2006 by David Zingler (5 Comments)

ST. PAUL - On a high from finally passing legislation that will allow the Minnesota Twins to build a new, open-air Minneapolis stadium, the state legislature recently passed a lesser known bill that will provide team owner Carl Pohlad with a lavish, new mansion funded largely by taxpayer dollars.

“Compared to other Major League Baseball owners, Mr. Pohlad’s current residence is appalling,” Twins president David St. Peter explained. “The bathrooms are inadequate, the hallways are narrow, the kitchen is void of many of the items considered essential to the super rich and the garage does not provide proper storage for his collection of exotic automobiles.”

There was however, one hitch – the 6,000 square foot residence will not have a roof. “We had to be pragmatic here, you just can’t get everything you want in these deals,” St. Peter continued. “Besides, Mr. Pohlad has spent the majority of his nine decades on this planet indoors, so this could be a nice change of pace.”

In a bold move, the legislature passed the bill despite a Star Tribune poll that showed only 1% of area residents support such legislation. “The thing to remember here is that ‘the people’ don’t have the money, but big hitters like the Pohlads do.” House Speaker Steve Swiggum pointed out. “As an elected official, I feel it is my duty to keep the Pohlads of the state happy. It just makes life easier."

Governor Tim Pawlenty had a different take,“We couldn’t let our state be void of a Major League Baseball owner," Pawlenty said of Pohlad, who was rumored to be considering a move to Las Vegas. “(Former Vikings owner) Red McCombs proved that out-of-state ownership doesn’t work. This was really done for the fans.”

Comment on this post

Keeping things lively.

Posted at 11:07 PM on May 23, 2006 by Josh Lee

It's not that watching Johan Santana strike out batter after batter isn't fun, not at all. But after a while, the rhythmic sounds of whiffing bats and balls smacking into catchers' mitts can have a hypnotic effect, and while it feels kind of nice to be lulled to sleep by dominant pitching, it makes it little hard to stay awake and root for your team. So to mix things up a bit and keep the fans on their toes, Santana decided that instead of pitching excellently against Cleveland, he would only pitch pretty nicely, racking up a mere five strikeouts in seven innings for a no-decision.

Luckily for the Twins, Santana isn't the only dominant pitcher on their staff, even if it often seems that way. Joe Nathan came on in a non-save situation and struck out five batters in two innings to protect a 5-5 tie, which was broken in the 10th when Justin Morneau sacrificed Torii Hunter in for the win.

Along the way, Michael Cuddyer had two hits, one of them a two-run homer in the 3rd. Is it safe to say that he's settled into the starting lineup, or is he still stuck in the no-man's-land of batters who have yet to prove themselves and are liable to get on Gardy's bad side with no warning? (Speaking of which, Jason Kubel pinch hit in his return to the majors, and struck out against Rafael Betancourt.)

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