Posted at 12:45 PM on June 18, 2005
by Josh Lee
I've been trying to figure out which of the commercials that they play during Twins radio broadcasts is the most annoying. Is it the spot for single servings of milk, in which John Gordon spazzes out while Joe Mauer awkwardly extols the virtues of drinking dairy products out of a plastic bottle? Or perhaps it's the ad for home medical devices, with its off-key, arhythmic lounge singer? Or maybe it's the one where the diamond seller and his customer step all over each other's lines with a flurry of "uh-huhs" and "mm-hmms" in an attempt to make me think they're having a spontaneous conversation?
All these and more get on my nerves between innings and make me fear a change in pitchers, even when the guy coming on isn't J.C. Romero, but it's a recent addition to the lineup that really makes me want to throw my radio out the window. I don't know which creative genius thought that it was a good idea to have a shrill-voiced mother and child sing about spray-on itch relief to the tune of the old "Alphabet Song," but Oh. My. Gawd, is it ever annoying.
To me, the most annoying commercial is the mere slogan for the Northern Tool and Equipment company: "Where Warriors Prepare For Battle".
Listening to the voice-over talking about the new nail gun reminds me less of brave soldiers preparing for valorous battle and more of a group of aged adolescents with a couple of cherry bombs, a bucket of water, an ant hill, and some incredibly bad judgment.