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The Bleacher Bums: June 16, 2005 Archive

Carl Everett: DH & philosopher

Posted at 8:49 AM on June 16, 2005 by David Zingler

When looking for insight into the human condition, the world we live in or even social commentary, some turn to ancient Greek philosophers like Socrates, Plato or Aristotle, while others may turn to more modern, Western types like John Locke, Thomas Hobbes or Edmund Burke. If you consider yourself more of a fringe-type person, maybe Karl Marx or Friedrich Nietszche is your (cliché alert!) “cup of tea.”

If none of the above applies, you may want to consider Carl Everett. The White Sox DH first shared his wit and wisdom, and I use that term loosely, with us five years ago in Sports Illustrated when he proclaimed that dinsosaurs “Didn’t exist.”

“God created the sun, the stars, the heavens and the earth, and then made Adam and Eve," Everett, then with Boston, told SI’s Tom Verducci. "The Bible never says anything about dinosaurs. You can't say there were dinosaurs when you never saw them. Someone actually saw Adam and Eve. No one ever saw a Tyrannosaurus rex."

Don’t let the museums fool you, there are no such thing as dinosaur bones either, according to Everett, they are “made by man.”

Yesterday, the opinionated slugger expanded his repertoire to the controversial subject of homosexuality. Not surprisingly, his views were very simple, "Gays being gay is wrong,” the two-time All Star told Maxim magazine. “Two women can't produce a baby, two men can't produce a baby, so it's not how it's supposed to be....I don't believe in gay marriages. I don't believe in being gay."

He announced no plans to run for governor of Mississippi.

Later, when asked about the congressional inquiry into steroids in sports, Everett responded, “The congressional hearings examining steroid use were a waste: "We have a war going on -- I have family in that war -- yet we're talking about steroids....If everybody in the world got on steroids, we'll still lose more kids to a war than we will from steroids."

At least he is finally making a little sense.

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