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The Bleacher Bums: April 13, 2005 Archive

Inject me, Bert!

Posted at 2:47 PM on April 13, 2005 by Bob Collins

I was watching the Twins game the other night and apparently they did an online survey to ask people their favorite non-game-related aspect of a Twins game they enjoy most. "Circle me, Bert," was the hands-down winner, not real surprising in a town that actually cheered each Tuffy Tire race for years. Frankly, I rather like the attempt to throw a baseball from the upper deck into a pickup truck without having it bounce out.

Circle me, Bert is just Twins announcer Bert Blyleven using his little technical gizmo during games to draw circles around fans on TV. Boy, howdy, does it get any better?

Well, it could. What if Bert used that little gizmo during a game without commentary. For example, wouldn't it be cool if when Jason Giambi comes up to bat, he draws a little syringe and needle out of his thigh to indicate his steroid use. (Note: I have no idea if a needle is used to inject steroids. I weigh 160 and can't hit a lick.)

If Barry Bonds makes the trip to the Dome this year, Bert could draw Bonds' skull size when he was with the Pirates over his visage, showing the amazing expanding skull size feat that Bonds has pulled off.

They could bring in guest artists each game and have an inning devoted to defacing the opposition. It could be the Rustoleum Graffitti Inning.


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